Does Your Love Have to Be Your Life?

I have a cousin who was an unbelievable swimmer. When we were kids, his mom signed him up for the swim team each year and he always won medals and ribbons. Just as soon as he was able to choose his summer activities, he dropped swim team like a rock. I never understood why, because he LOVED swimming and was so GOOD at it. He told me being MADE to swim instead of CHOOSING to swim took the joy out of it for him, regardless of how many ribbons he won.

I've been struggling with this love/hate relationship with my art. I LOVE doing art, I'm fairly GOOD at it (won ribbons, sold paintings), but I've not enjoyed DOING it for over a year now. I don't want to rant or whine about my art career during the past year, but I can wrap it up in two words..It Sucked. By a business definition, it was a "successful" year: I had more art students and full classes than ever before, plus my art sales almost doubled from the previous year. In terms of personal satisfaction, it was out of control freight train careening down into the canyon. Art became work, not joy. Every act of creation was second guessed and analyzed.... "Will it sell?" .."Is is too big?..does it need to be smaller & more affordable?" .."Can I paint this subject or do I need to paint more flamingos/chickens/etc?" .... whoops... sorry, the whining is slipping in... but you get the picture.

I decided last fall to take a good look at my life and do some thinking, praying and researching. I realized that I didn't like the art I was starting to create or the way I was trying to make a living at it. The guilt was (and on some days..still is) overwhelming..here I was living most artists' dream...nice studio space, supportive spouse...but maybe it isn't this artist's dream.

I'm still creating art..better art now that the pressure is off. I'll still be selling my art, but I'm not worried about business terms of success anymore. Art can be my voice again instead of my living. As for teaching, I've found I have more time to concentrate and I enjoy it more than ever. The students are an inspiration to me and I'll continue teaching as long as I can over the next couple of years. As for my making a living, I'm heading back to graduate school for an entirely unrelated career (another post..another time!).

As I said, I'm still selling my work. The walls of my house don't seem to expand at the same rate my art creation does! Instead of art shows, I'll be concentrating on internet sales and word of mouth referrals (always my best source!). I'm shifting my website to showcase my large (and more expensive) pieces and Pet Portraits. For my smaller works and reproductions (prints), I've opened an Etsy shop. It is called CobaltBlueDreams and I'm adding work weekly to it. I'm starting with new works and prints and going backwards through time. I chose Etsy mainly because it is easy and fun. I love browsing Etsy and my smaller works and collages fit the "browsing" style of shopping at Etsy. My larger works will remain on my website, not many people impulse buy a $1200 painting or Pet Portrait.

So check out CobaltBlueDreams today, and then check back next week, and the week after...you get the idea! If you see something disappear off my website, check out the shop..I may have moved it over.

This painting is a fun piece inspired by an amaryllis that was given to my daughter for Valentine's Day. Valentine is a 12" x 6" acrylic painting on gallery-wrapped canvas and can be purchased in my Etsy shop.

By the way, CobaltBlueDreams isn't just a random name. Cobalt Blue is my favorite painting color and appears in most of my skies (the ones that are intensely blue!) Dreams got added on because it fit. I'll send a random pack of 5 of my notecard prints to the first person who can tell my what else is significant about the name of my shop!